fuuuuuck havent posted since may 10

waddup yall , lol its funny how i say yall, even though nobody reads this shit. i dont blame u. but stilll.

im gonna try and start using this blogspace again .. less writing in posts but more posts. ya dig?

anywayyy right now i cannot sleep because daylight savings his fucked. and fucks me. we're fuck buddies really...

too lazy to write real sentences sooo point form it is!

- boom , got my stereosonic ticket yesterday
- i have been inspired by 'maestro knows' (google is your friend) to buy a skateboard and be fucking cool as
-i want warren g's new album
- kid cudi's new album is fucking superb
- jay-z's new album is very very good but not great..
- syndicate evnts has been owning friday nights
- new music blog coming sooooooooooooooooooooooooooon
- i need to relax with partying and doing stupid shit (not really but meh)
- i feel 20 times better about life since i had a 2 week break from uni in which i had an epiphany and now im going to proceed to kick ass in every aspect of life.
- i'm a maccas boy .. but havent worked a shift yet even though i got hired 3 weeks ago
- should i get a tumblr? blogspot seems dead.

and the Asshole of the week award goes to...

I've decided that i'm going to acknowledge the achievments of the great assholes of the world. I regularly see assholes who just go out've their way to be assholes , and i think they deserve to be celebrated.


the winner of the asshole of the week goes to:

**The bus driver on Monday**

(*note asshole may not have been encountered THIS WEEK but come on 'asshole of the week' has a good ring to it aye)

Accomplishments:

Mr Bus Driver put on a stellar performance in his effor to win the coveted asshole of the week award and he has no doubt blown the competition out've the water , ladies and gentlemen i present to you .. this weeks big fucking asshole =].

Stumbling onto the bus at 7am eyes still half closed , the taste of toothpaste still fresh in my mouth , i apologise to the bus driver as i didnt have the exact change for fare, i laughed jokingly at how i basically jumped out've bed and ran to the bus stop to get to Uni, and apologised quickly and handed him a $50. At this point i realise that im an idiot for not bringing any coins but remembered i didnt have any coins anyway, i've gotten onto buses with no trouble at all with a 50 before , it should be fine.

"Sorry about the change i just got out've ben and ran to the bus stop" *short laugh*

After listening to my apology and little joke this fucking a-hole decides that he's gonna treat me like a piece of shit.
He asks me if i know the quickest way to the train station (my destination)
" yes" i say confusion making its way onto my brown face.
He responds
"good , because next time im not even gonna pick you up"
Mr driver takes the 50 and tells me he'll give me my change when we get to the station.
When we get to the station he gives me my change, which he easily could've done at my own busstop.

congratulations asshole , you win the award for your condescending bullshit , and your tough-guy act, fucking fucker. I apologised for the inconvenience and you still decided to be an asshole, extra points for determination, if at first you don't succeed , dust yourself and be a fucking a-hole again you dirty prick.

Just in case he thought he hadn't won the award yet , the next day , i didnt have my student card on me, and he clarly recognised me as the student from the day before, but the brilliant man still charged me full fare, thanks buddy you win!!!!! woooohoooooo.

I am a bitter mother fucker , comment me telling me why i shouldnt be and if you make me smile i'll give you 5 bucks.

bye now
*chunders*

stream of conciousness , whilst wishing i was unconcious. translation: . i cant sleep so im going to talk shit.

i dont feel like sleeping , but i have to be up in four hours to go to uni. Uni is fucked , but work is more fucked. Not being able to sleep , before a day of Uni followed by work is more fucked, needing to work at a workplace comparable to the fiery pits of hell because you blew all your money on fast food , alchohol , gambling and cigarettes is even more fucked. Life is fucked , no its not ... life is fucking awesome, i liked life today, i was sitting on the train listening to DJAM ft. Travis Barker "Fix Ya Face"mixtape in which the DJ mixed Fatman Scoop , M.I.A , The Rocky Balboa theme song AND Phil Collins into one delicious concoction of musical genius so i could forget about lifes problems whilst Phil Collins sings " i been waiting for this moment , for all of my life , i can feel it in the air tonight". I reckon its pretty cliche to try and describe musics place in ones life , it is probably beyond my capacity as a wannabe writer to detail musics unexplainable magic that it provides for the fucking universe. Music is just fucking awesome game over. If i was a good singer , i'd probably be the biggest showpony ever, in fact if i was somewhat talented in any field of the arts i'd probably flaunt it everywhere for example ....

if i could dance like Justin Timberlake i would: dance everywhere , lets say a train station , moonwalking the platforms , pop and lock my train ticket into the machine and do backflips and pirouettes down the stairs and robot onto the dirty dirty dirty dirty public transport that our government has blest us with.

If i could sing like Pavarotti I would : sing instead of speak ... " heyyyyy how are youuu todayyyy, im fuckiiing tiiiiired , didnt get to bed till laaate last niiiight... giiiirl.. babyyy " (hopefully you get the picture)

If i could paint like picasso I would : use any excuse to create art e.g
*gets on a bus walks up to busdriver*
" hey i gotta get here"
* takes out a pencil and pad ... **draws the Sydney city skyline in abstract **


Unfortunately , i'm one of those 'decent at most things , not exceptional in anything' kinda blokes, which im totally fine with , except i really wish i could do the whole moonwalking train platforms shit.

I'm way too tired for this shit, leave some comments.

*disclaimer

i know this shit made no sense at all , i still love you , does that count for anything at all?
no?
fuck you then.

My apologies > Letter to body , from me.

To my head to my toes , please accept my apologies :

To my hair , sorry for that time i dyed you blonde , it was wrong , i was trying to be cool , everybody else was doing it , i gave in to peer pressure... you kind've pulled it off , but i knew you hated me for it , dw homie i'll let you bask in your black pride for awhile , no guarantees though, sorry for thinning you out... dont take it personally , your thick an all , im cool with that.. sometimes i just gotta do what i gotta do... i'll promise to never dye you again.. if you promise to stay thick when i get old .. done deal , and sorry for wearing that black fitted cap over you all the damn time , it was a present .. its kind've cool but you'll be there for me forever .. right motherfucker?

To my ears , sorry for playing my ipod at its maximum volume all the damn time , sorry for dancing next to the speakers at the club on saturday, sorry for putting you in ratiation whenever i'm on the phone , sorry for secretly hating you cos my brother called my dumbo cos you were too big for my head when i was young. you fucking bastard. .. its all good though you have to admit , you've aquired a pretty sick taste in tunes right?.

To my eyes, sorry for never sleeping and making you red.. sorry for rubbing it in by.. well . rubbing. Sorry for sitting so close to my tv when i play xbox , sorry for staying on my laptop in the dark, putting unnessary strain on you.. thanks for staying strong and never needing the help of glasses , sorry for not buying sun glasses until last year (never had the cash).. atleast i never bought un-needed contact lenses. i like you the way you are cuuuz .

To my mouth , sorry for never , ever ever ever using lip balm , sorry for licking you instead of using lipbalm , sorry for dating all those birds who like to bite when they kiss, . i believe i've been pretty good to you.. stay solid, i'll try get some chapstick for you homie.

To my stomach .. fuck im sorry man . i definitely havent been good to you. sorry for all the shit i put inside of you. sorry for never ever ever eating veggies or fruits (shit tastes disgusting, ask mouth) sorry for pouring beer in you every week, sorry for chundering alot .. alot. Better times lay ahead , i promise.

To my hands.. sorry for not using you for productive things anymore.. sorry i dont play piano as much as i used to , sorry for not playing bball as much as i used to , sorry for taking up boxing and smashing you repeatedly against the bag (you did well im proud of you), sorry for breaking you on that wall , sorry for using you to hit things i know its unfair i never use my feet or knees to smash objects , cos i know you can take it , sorry for cracking my knuckles , i dont even know if thats bad or not.. let me know cuz.

To my feet , sorry for wearing canvas shoes with no socks everywhere , its in fashion now , but i know your not as comfortable in them as when i wear my airforceones & sneakers , sorry i'm getting old now , i gotta wear work shoes.. i know they're not comfy but yeah.. bear with me , sorry for wearing girly havianas for awhile.. my ex gave em' to me , u know how that goes , sorry for walking on bindies when i cbf putting on some footwear , sorry for not wearing shoes in my house , i know the tiles be cold as fuck, thank you for not stinking all the damn time


. accept my apologies. i'll try to be better


CHEERS.

"The Road Not Taken" ( for a good reason ). *insert chunder*

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by


- Robert Frost 1920.


I fackin love this line in Rob Frosts "Road Not Taken" it inspired me to do what other people don't do, reflecting the the romanticist idea of 'carpe diem' or seize the day.
The Romantics all about that shit; seizing the day , daring to be different , branching out and all that shit which makes you feel invincible. (little did i know, that i am a mere mortal)

Being the veracious reader of romanticist era literature that i am (sarcasm homie) i repeatedly take these ideals to heart and often take 'the road not taken' .. but unfortunately (or fortunately for you sadistic fucks out there) I get fucked over in doing so.. thanks frosty your work has really inspired me.... asshole.

I think i am the case of romanticist gone wrong.

i put forth these arguments against the whole carpe diem movement.


Did 'seizing the day' prove valuable when I;
1. put that 80 dollar hit down on blackjack?
2. had that last shot of vodka or tequila or jack or john or jim (insert chunder here).
3. decided to attempt to fight a brick wall(refer to ..point number 2)
4. chucked my 7 day old phone out've a car on the highway (also refer to point number 2)
5. decided to actually date females. (ouch)


NO,NO,NO,NO. i ended up with empty pockets, insane headaches, broken hands , a fat brick of a phone phone and an inherent hate for the female species.(jokes.. or am i).
SO
fuck you Rob Frost and your romantic bullshit , seizing the day is ducktales to me. In all those circumstances i took the road less travelled by.. and i ended up on struggle street, i'm sure some of you can relate... i hope so anyway *looks around nervously*

/ end rant.


SHIT BRO this is getting ridiculous. 2 posts = 2 pieces of prose which appear to be written by a suicidal sociopath who got hold of a laptop and some wireless internet.

- sorry , i'll try brighten up my content eventually.

** disclaimer
1.Rob Frost is a fucking gangster of the poetry world, i bow down to him.
2.Romantic ideals are acutally pretty cool.. im just a pessimistic biotch who likes to complain.
3.I realise that referring to point 2 repeatedly in my arguments is a safe signal that i should lay off the booze (thank you for your concern).

im outties..
i'll be chundering soon so keep posted.
BYEBYE commentcommentcomment pleeease i beg you motherfuckkerrrs

Bad manners = chunder-worthy

Hey guys here's my word vomit for today...

So i work at a call centre , in which i call approximately 150 people in a 6 hour shift...

wait for it...

here's a big FUCK YOU to the odd 5-10 people i encounter in a day , who need to stick their heads into their assholes and open their eyes to see if their manners are somewhere in their rectum .. due to their instinctive nature to talk shit..

Seriously though, i think its the only job where you can cop such an earbashing from customers and be expected to be polite about it.

Exhibit A:

" im at work mate, fuck off ".
" i dont need this call right now, what the fuck are u trying to sell me "
" ... fuck off "
" who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get my number ".

----
It would be naive of me to ignore the notion that . YES TELEMARKETERS CAN BE PRETTY ANNOYING . (I myself go through several stages of 'self-hate' whilst im at work because i genuinely understand that i could be calling people at the wrong time) but please give us a fucking break.Telemarketers are real people too.. and as a consequence of this.. realise that next time you're rude to a telemarkter, they are likely on the other side of the line, calling you a fucking wanker whilst flipping the bird to your name on their computer screen, telling everybody in the room how much of a cockhead you are being o... im not saying you ARE a cockhead ,im just saying.. you ARE acting like one..

Furthermore karma is a bitch (a filthy one at that ) and so when your sitting at home out've pocket cos you can't work due to injury.. please remember that bloke who tried to talk to you about insurance ... (yeah the one you told that you couldnt give a "flying fuck" about insurance to , and to "fuck off") and ask yourself if your comments were really 'called' for (pun intended .whats up.).

P.S if your going to be rude to someone, atleast try to make sense..

Exhibit B:

Caller: hi can i please speak to .. *John.
Rude person : .. pfft. he's at work like a normal person..

**conclusions**
i'm at work + your husband john is at work = YOU ARE THE ABNORMAL PERSON

- thank you for successfully making yourself look like a douche bag.

----

I'm probably being a little harsh on the customers, but its only a select few.. suprisingly most people are pretty nice.... btw a "have a nice day" at the end of the phone call from a customer is appreciated more than you think , so BE NICE MAN, SHITTTTT.

** disclaimer
- i realise my excessive use of foul language kind've contradicts my whole spiel about good manners..

- fuck it , its chundered words

- ciao!